final notice

final notice

Dear Universe 4A-179-BB,

This letter is in regards to your existence.

First of all I'm sorry.

When I created you I was young and very alone. I had a lot of free time to watch and pay attention to the happenings of your worlds. You were my first truly successful universe. I was incredibly lucky to get 17 planets capable of sustaining semi-intelligent life. Even though it was almost completely by accident yours was a very fortuitous explosion. Not one of my friends has ever gotten half as many live-able planets.

I enjoyed observing the growth of your civilizations. Keeping records of planetary progress and retarding some planets while advancing others amused me for ages. You were what kept me alive, I can't describe how watching you struggle against the grimmest odds to eek out a meager existence gave me hope in my darkest hours.

Unfortunately my creation wasn't perfect and I grew impatient at times trying to fix the problems. Humans, who I truly did make in my own image, were the worst for me. I gave them everything, including my own race's problems: the capacity for infinite cruelty and a limited capacity for happiness. The illusion of empathy cursed them to be miserable no matter how hard they tried to avoid it. I was pleased when they discovered the art of stillness, to stop moving forward meant that they weren't subject to the same levels of suffering as those who felt they must progress constantly. Their struggles were mostly pointless because of the falling back they had to continuously endure as they aged.

Sadly most of them never discovered the benefits of stillness and continued trying to move forward. I suffer the same fate, even though I truly envy that particular quality in my elders.

Once your universe was in motion, to fix it would have probably cause its destruction. The few times that I directly meddled with a planet's physical aspects caused drastic results, generally killing almost all life upon it. I must shamefully admit that usually when I tweaked your planets it was due to anger and frustration, often a clumsy and indirect attempt to deal with my own problems. I was quite immature then and it pains me to think of the suffering I caused. In spite of my often insane actions, rumors quickly spread that I am all-knowing, all-powerful and many other ridiculous things that I never claimed to be. Some of the humans even believed that I sent my son to them, which is even more ridiculous as I've never had any children and never will. You are small and pitiful creatures who could not possibly understand the complexity of what contains your universe but assuming that I'm all-anything is stupid. I have limits just like everyone else and those limits are beyond anything you can possibly comprehend without relying on wildly abstract concepts.

Other universes followed yours, better balanced and more expertly created but those were never special to me. They were only projects to pass the time. Then a major event happened, it's why I let the universes fall into neglect and slowly forgot to provide any further guidance or care.

One day I met a wonderful girl and we fell deeply in love. After we were together for the required amount of time by law, we promised ourselves to each other eternally. As a symbol of my trust I gave her my most precious creation and implanted you into a tiny freckle on the tip of her slightly curved nose which perfectly accented the most beautiful face I'll ever see. Every time I looked at her I saw you and when I thought of you I couldn't help but think of her.

But now she has betrayed that trust.

A few moments ago I beat them to death with my bare hands and smashed their skulls and genitals with a boulder. Even now the pyre is burning that will consume the 3 of us and all of you as well.

My only remorse in regards to you is that I wish I had made your universe more beautiful, more wonderful and more perfect. If I had been more competent, infinite amounts of pain could have been spared to countless trillions.

I wish you the best in your next big bang.

With kindest regards,
god